Today we want to share 4 ways to support positive behavior. “Stop fighting with you brother!” “Help pick up the playroom!” “Clean up your dinner spot!” “Just put the shoes on!” “Why are you making this so difficult?!”
Do any of these sound familiar? Why does it seem that kids can’t listen and then throw huge meltdowns when they are asked to do a simple task? We hear these things so often at our office and actually, this was Doctor Eric. He was the kid that could not finish simple tasks.
And because he was unable to finish simple tasks, he always found himself in trouble. It seemed like he was always being punished for something. Often, when a child is constantly in trouble, what they hear is that they are consistently not good enough. This is sad, lonely, and frustrating.
This pattern often leads to choices that lead to more failure and more depression. And as they get older, it can often times, it leads to substance abuse and even suicidal ideation. This is not what we want for anyone. This isn’t the path that anyone should go down. Kids in constant overwhelm is not what we want.
Because of this, we have put together 4 tips, 4 ways to support positive behavior and to help you work through this. First of all, we want to remind you that there is hope and we are in this together.
First, understand (with grace) that a child’s capacity to handle directions and assignments sometimes might not be where you think it should be. Sometimes, and oftentimes, in our office, this is truly the case. Kids cannot always process the information that is being thrown at them correctly.
Next, divide the bigger tasks into smaller tasks that they can handle. We want to set them up for success, not failure. It is important to create a pattern of accomplishment. Just like when we celebrate our baby taking their first step, we need to celebrate every single step along the way to help promote their self-worth. Create patterns of accomplishments to encourage instead of creating patterns of disappointment.
Give them an undeserved chance to succeed. Every child wants to be celebrated and they all want to do well for their parents. Give your kids an opportunity to try again without being hard on them. Give them GRACE. An example would be if they do not clean their room right away, give them more time to try again. By giving them these moments of grace, it gives them the chance to succeed without feeling like a failure.
Finally, have firm boundaries. Grace is not letting children do whatever they want. If you allow your child to do whatever they want, they will believe they are in charge. Our firm limits in the office include respecting our doctor, the staff, the other kids and families in the office, and the environment of the office. This is when Doctor Eric steps in and communicates boundaries. Boundaries help move the child to a safe place for him or her and everyone else in the office. It is important to communicate that something a child is doing is hurting someone. There are clear, firm boundaries and communication to create a beautiful atmosphere of GRACE.
We are here to support you!
Here at ADIO, this is what grace looks like. If this sounds like you and your family, please contact ADIO Chiropractic in Middleton at 608.824.0950.